


Like a punch in the gut

by Sharraus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Grief, Guilt, Leaving Home, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:20:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26221768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharraus/pseuds/Sharraus
Summary: When he left the castle, thousands regrets remained.
Kudos: 2





	Like a punch in the gut

He left early in the morning without telling anyone. He packed his things, emptied his rooms, with a wave of his hand he sealed them off. He walked out of the castle before he could talk himself out of it. He took his horse and galloped down the road, through the front gate. It shut behind him, magic locking it behind his back. He made his way through the waking village bellow the castle without stopping. He left with sunrise and never looked back.

  
His leave was noticed that very day. When he didn’t turn up at breakfast no one thought anything of it. It wasn’t unusual. When he didn’t come for lunch students exchanged looks, but no one said anything. Perhaps he’d got caught up in something. When he didn’t show up for dinner they looked for him. It didn’t take long to figure out what he’d done – not with his quarters gone, as they’d never been there. He left with sunrise, never telling anyone and didn’t plan on coming back.

  
After that day, nothing was quite the same in the castle. Helga, for one, no longer found it in her to set foot in the dungeons, his old haunts. Her smile was still as bright and reassuring, but her eyes were often dull, underlined by worry and grief. She refused to cry in front of the students or the staff, but when it was just the three of them, or just herself late at night, she would. Because he’d saved her from herself and she never forgot that debt.

  
After he’d left Rowena never smiled quite as freely as before. No longer did she come up to the Astronomy Tower to contemplate life with him. No longer did she talk about the changes she’d make to the world with anyone. Those were conversation held only with him. With him gone, there was no reason to have them at all. She focused on the school and her own studies, but no longer did she find as much pleasure in discovering new ways to cause mischief. Not when there wasn’t anyone to share it with. Godric would indulge her and Helga would listen if she’d asked, but she didn’t. Because he’d been her partner in crime for far too long to imagine anyone else taking his place.

  
After that evening Godric was torn. For the longest time, he refused to acknowledge anything has happened. For weeks he chose to pretend they’d never been friends. But he never laughed quite as loud or joked as happily. There was a weight on his shoulders and guilt in his eyes. There was pain hidden behind the beaten knuckles and regret in the torn letters that had returned unopened. Because as wrong as he had been, he was still his brother and he’d not wanted to lose him. He’d never thought he could.

  
But the time is merciless and it went on with no regard for their hurt. They learned to work without him there and they learned to live with him gone. He’d left them broken and they made it work regardless. Godric often said that finding him gone that evening was the worst feeling he’d ever experienced. He was proven wrong.

  
Years passed and he returned exactly once. Deep at night, he entered with grim expression and request on his lips. He brought a pair of twins with him, barely ten years of age. A boy with black hair and silver eyes, seeing beyond time and space and with power beyond what they’ve ever seen. And a girl with a scar on her shoulder and eyes that held the age of earth and the wisdom of death itself. He left them at the castle, protected and welcome for the first time in their lives and they never forgot it.

  
He stayed the night, but as soon as the breakfast came to the close, he left again. And Helga smiled through tears and wished him a safe journey. Rowena dropped a letter in his bag, hoping he would at least read their thoughts if he wouldn’t hear them or allow them to find him. She said her goodbye with a joke and he’d laughed and she’d never felt as helpless as right then.

  
Godric was the one to see him through the gate. The ladies spared themselves the heartbreak of watching him leave. They turned away and ushered the students away. They hid away and grieved in silence, but Godric couldn’t. So he followed him to the gate, heavy silence filling the air. They had not spoken that day. Not for a lack of wanting, though, he had wanted to speak up. To apologize, to ask him to stay, anything. But he bit his tongue.

  
When they approached the gate he wished him luck. There was so much more he wanted to say, but couldn’t. The sentiment was returned and he thought, for a moment, that maybe the voice was too rough to be normal. But the next moment he was crossing the gate and following the path to the village and Godric squashed his hopes.

  
He watched him walk away until he disappeared in the forest and he wanted nothing more than to stop him. But he didn’t. And one must live with the consequences of their actions. So he returned to the castle alone, as miserable as ever.

  
Finding him gone that morning was like a punch in the gut, Godric would claim to anyone that asked. It knocks the wind out of you for a while, but you’ll be fine. Watching him leave that second time was like being slowly gutted with a dagger. One that you yourself coated in a basilisk venom. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by the song Friends never say goodbye by Elton John, the movie version from Road to El Dorado, because I watched it few days ago and loved it. It has nothing to do with Hogwarts Elite or the Harbinger series at all - it would be a part of that series if it did. Leave kudos and comments anyway! Also posted on my Tumblr, but nowhere else.


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